Outpost Stories
Samuel Gorham: Growing Fully Rooted in Christ
Samuel Gorham grew up searching for approval from the people around him instead of from God. This led to a seed of misery growing in his heart. He grew confused about what it meant to be Christian, searching for the right words and deeds instead of surrendering to God. This led to broken relationships and sinful desires taking over his life. Read on to see how God transformed Samuel from someone who sowed misery in himself and others into someone who nurtured seeds from the Holy Spirit and shared the Gospel.
Read the full story
Samuel: I was raised in a very strict but loving Christian home. I was one of six and my parents wanted to train their children in the way they should go. So every time the doors of the church were open, we, as a family, would be there. I went because I had some friends there and even then I felt a bit like an outsider. I also went because that’s what you were supposed to do. I wanted the older generation at church to look at me and go, “he’s a good kid.”
Samuel began pushing against the routine of church which led to him separating himself from other people.
S: I felt really alone and miserable. I wasn’t rooted in Jesus at all and when my sin would come through my friends ran away and I grew angry. After so many times hearing the Gospel I skipped past it. The only thing I could think to do was to make everyone else as miserable as I was especially the people closest to me. So I began to bully my family. I would deliberately go and do things where my siblings would pay the price and they knew it was me.
Samuel began stealing from his parents and getting involved in sinful activities.
S: One day I was caught stealing candy. I hid it underneath my bed and my parents found it. I looked at the situation and decided I would tell my parents I needed to get saved before they could punish me. They stopped what they were doing and led me through the Roman’s Road and the Sinner’s prayer. For a while I thought I got away with it but there was this little voice in my mind telling me I wasn’t really saved.
For the next five years Samuel kept going through the cycle of anger and loneliness.
S: When I was about twelve I really wanted my dad to be proud of me because I hadn’t been able to make him proud yet. I started pushing really hard to get my parents to say I’m proud of you, but I couldn’t so I fell even deeper into my misery and dragged my family down with it.
When he turned sixteen Samuel began working with his dad.
S: That’s when the Lord started to get just a little bit a hold of me. I got to see my dad from a different view as far as what he dealt with all day at work and then afterwards had to come home and discipline children. I saw him in a way better light and began to see some hope.
One day things blew up. We both said some things that weren’t good. My dad said something that cut me to the point of breaking: “I don’t have to respect you. I love you, but nowhere in the Bible does it say I have to respect you. That is earned and right now you haven’t earned it.” After that I stopped trying even though he was right.
I began working at the hockey rink and got involved with the wrong crowd. Some of the guys there led me into drugs and drinking. I was able to hide it from my parents. I don’t know how.
In an attempt to please his parents Samuel attended Bible College at Maranatha Baptist University for two years.
S: While I was there I heard preaching every single day. I was in seminary classes every single day and it all went in one ear and out the other not making any sense. All the while every time I screwed up I would pray the Roman’s Road. That became a ritual for me over the years; hoping I said the right words, hoping I did the right things.
"Right then the Spirit opened my eyes and it clicked what was true faith in Jesus. It was saying, 'Yes Lord I am yours, my life is no longer my own. I repent for what I have done. Use me as You will.'"
Back in Wyoming Samuel went to a young adult’s event at Camp Bethel. On the last day of the talks he felt the Spirit move in him.
S: All of a sudden the Spirit hits me and says “You’re not saved.” After all of the teaching about the rapture and being gone in a second I was terrified that the rapture was going to happen before the end of the service. So I grabbed the young adult pastor. We went into the other room and I told him I need to get saved and I need to get saved now. I opened up to him and said I keep doing these things and I keep praying this prayer. It just doesn’t feel like it’s working. I don’t know if I’m saying the right thing or doing the right thing or feeling the right way.
He said to me, “It’s not about what you say, it’s about what’s in your heart.” Right then the Spirit opened my eyes and it clicked what was true faith in Jesus. It was saying, “Yes Lord I am yours, my life is no longer my own. I repent for what I have done. Use me as You will.”
That night Samuel accepted the Lord fully in his heart. He was so excited and happy, telling everyone. As soon as he returned home he told his parents.
S: The first thing they said was, “You told us you accepted the Lord a long time ago. What’s different now?” That was the first challenge in my faith and I failed it because I started questioning again. My dad said, “It’s not about a feeling,” and I said, “I know but I felt a peace.” Only looking back now do I realize my dad was right; it’s not about that peace; it’s about actually seeing God work in your life.
I still continued to struggle with sin. I fell into pornography and drug and alcohol abuse. It dug me into a hole deeper and deeper. Even after giving my life to the Lord I was still going to my sin and it wasn’t fulfilling.
Samuel grew desperate to feel something after becoming numb trying to fill himself. He decided to end his life one night at the top of Carter Mountain.
S: As I was sitting there, I felt the Lord’s presence come right to me and say, “Son, what are you doing?” And I unloaded on Him. I told Him everything that was going wrong, everything that I hated about it. How I was miserable and couldn’t make any friends. I didn’t fit anywhere and I was alone. I was tired of feeling alone, tired of trying. He said four words, “I love you son.” He said that; my gun dropped. I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit come into my heart and I went straight down on my knees on that cliff side asking the Lord for forgiveness for what I had done. Feeling the Spirit grab hold of me, just a touch, was enough.
From that point Samuel dedicated his life to the Lord.
S: I watched Him change my life in so many ways. The hardest parts were the conversations with my family who I had been awful to. But God helped me to find reconciliation and rebuild trust. It was tough to do. The results now where my parents and I no longer argue and my siblings come to me with questions about the Bible and their spiritual walks and I start spouting off words the Spirit gives me; that’s God. I’m just saying what God said. I’m watching them change.
While working through relationship struggles with his parents and growing in his faith Samuel found that he could no longer attend the church where he grew up. He began searching for another church where he could find guys he could run through life with. He met JD Downer and was introduced to Outpost.
S: Thank God I knew JD Downer. He actually directed me to Outpost while we were at the gym which I thought was weird at first. But I wanted to be part of it and asked to be thrown into a Community Group.
Samuel began serving at Outpost doing set up and tear down, where he felt he finally found a service area that fit.
S: I’m socially awkward so I had a hard time trying to speak out and do stuff with people. Then I got into the Young Men’s Community Group. You go from being “Yeah I’m fine,” to all of a sudden everyone’s letting out their darkest secrets. I thank God for this because now I can have conversations that I never could have before. Without God there is nothing about me speaking that makes any sense. I can see where God is taking me from not confessing my sin to other people and finding true accountability with a trustworthy group of guys. It hurt and I hated it to begin with but now I can’t live without it.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10
Outpost Stories
Samuel Gorham: Growing Fully Rooted in Christ
Samuel Gorham grew up searching for approval from the people around him instead of from God. This led to a seed of misery growing in his heart. He grew confused about what it meant to be Christian, searching for the right words and deeds instead of surrendering to God. This led to broken relationships and sinful desires taking over his life. Read on to see how God transformed Samuel from someone who sowed misery in himself and others into someone who nurtured seeds from the Holy Spirit and shared the Gospel.
Read the full story
Samuel: I was raised in a very strict but loving Christian home. I was one of six and my parents wanted to train their children in the way they should go. So every time the doors of the church were open, we, as a family, would be there. I went because I had some friends there and even then I felt a bit like an outsider. I also went because that’s what you were supposed to do. I wanted the older generation at church to look at me and go, “he’s a good kid.”
Samuel began pushing against the routine of church which led to him separating himself from other people.
S: I felt really alone and miserable. I wasn’t rooted in Jesus at all and when my sin would come through my friends ran away and I grew angry. After so many times hearing the Gospel I skipped past it. The only thing I could think to do was to make everyone else as miserable as I was especially the people closest to me. So I began to bully my family. I would deliberately go and do things where my siblings would pay the price and they knew it was me.
Samuel began stealing from his parents and getting involved in sinful activities.
S: One day I was caught stealing candy. I hid it underneath my bed and my parents found it. I looked at the situation and decided I would tell my parents I needed to get saved before they could punish me. They stopped what they were doing and led me through the Roman’s Road and the Sinner’s prayer. For a while I thought I got away with it but there was this little voice in my mind telling me I wasn’t really saved.
For the next five years Samuel kept going through the cycle of anger and loneliness.
S: When I was about twelve I really wanted my dad to be proud of me because I hadn’t been able to make him proud yet. I started pushing really hard to get my parents to say I’m proud of you, but I couldn’t so I fell even deeper into my misery and dragged my family down with it.
When he turned sixteen Samuel began working with his dad.
S: That’s when the Lord started to get just a little bit a hold of me. I got to see my dad from a different view as far as what he dealt with all day at work and then afterwards had to come home and discipline children. I saw him in a way better light and began to see some hope.
One day things blew up. We both said some things that weren’t good. My dad said something that cut me to the point of breaking: “I don’t have to respect you. I love you, but nowhere in the Bible does it say I have to respect you. That is earned and right now you haven’t earned it.” After that I stopped trying even though he was right.
I began working at the hockey rink and got involved with the wrong crowd. Some of the guys there led me into drugs and drinking. I was able to hide it from my parents. I don’t know how.
In an attempt to please his parents Samuel attended Bible College at Maranatha Baptist University for two years.
S: While I was there I heard preaching every single day. I was in seminary classes every single day and it all went in one ear and out the other not making any sense. All the while every time I screwed up I would pray the Roman’s Road. That became a ritual for me over the years; hoping I said the right words, hoping I did the right things.
"Right then the Spirit opened my eyes and it clicked what was true faith in Jesus. It was saying, 'Yes Lord I am yours, my life is no longer my own. I repent for what I have done. Use me as You will.'"
"Right then the Spirit opened my eyes and it clicked what was true faith in Jesus. It was saying, 'Yes Lord I am yours, my life is no longer my own. I repent for what I have done. Use me as You will.'"
Back in Wyoming Samuel went to a young adult’s event at Camp Bethel. On the last day of the talks he felt the Spirit move in him.
S: All of a sudden the Spirit hits me and says “You’re not saved.” After all of the teaching about the rapture and being gone in a second I was terrified that the rapture was going to happen before the end of the service. So I grabbed the young adult pastor. We went into the other room and I told him I need to get saved and I need to get saved now. I opened up to him and said I keep doing these things and I keep praying this prayer. It just doesn’t feel like it’s working. I don’t know if I’m saying the right thing or doing the right thing or feeling the right way.
He said to me, “It’s not about what you say, it’s about what’s in your heart.” Right then the Spirit opened my eyes and it clicked what was true faith in Jesus. It was saying, “Yes Lord I am yours, my life is no longer my own. I repent for what I have done. Use me as You will.”
That night Samuel accepted the Lord fully in his heart. He was so excited and happy, telling everyone. As soon as he returned home he told his parents.
S: The first thing they said was, “You told us you accepted the Lord a long time ago. What’s different now?” That was the first challenge in my faith and I failed it because I started questioning again. My dad said, “It’s not about a feeling,” and I said, “I know but I felt a peace.” Only looking back now do I realize my dad was right; it’s not about that peace; it’s about actually seeing God work in your life.
I still continued to struggle with sin. I fell into pornography and drug and alcohol abuse. It dug me into a hole deeper and deeper. Even after giving my life to the Lord I was still going to my sin and it wasn’t fulfilling.
Samuel grew desperate to feel something after becoming numb trying to fill himself. He decided to end his life one night at the top of Carter Mountain.
S: As I was sitting there, I felt the Lord’s presence come right to me and say, “Son, what are you doing?” And I unloaded on Him. I told Him everything that was going wrong, everything that I hated about it. How I was miserable and couldn’t make any friends. I didn’t fit anywhere and I was alone. I was tired of feeling alone, tired of trying. He said four words, “I love you son.” He said that; my gun dropped. I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit come into my heart and I went straight down on my knees on that cliff side asking the Lord for forgiveness for what I had done. Feeling the Spirit grab hold of me, just a touch, was enough.
From that point Samuel dedicated his life to the Lord.
S: I watched Him change my life in so many ways. The hardest parts were the conversations with my family who I had been awful to. But God helped me to find reconciliation and rebuild trust. It was tough to do. The results now where my parents and I no longer argue and my siblings come to me with questions about the Bible and their spiritual walks and I start spouting off words the Spirit gives me; that’s God. I’m just saying what God said. I’m watching them change.
While working through relationship struggles with his parents and growing in his faith Samuel found that he could no longer attend the church where he grew up. He began searching for another church where he could find guys he could run through life with. He met JD Downer and was introduced to Outpost.
S: Thank God I knew JD Downer. He actually directed me to Outpost while we were at the gym which I thought was weird at first. But I wanted to be part of it and asked to be thrown into a Community Group.
Samuel began serving at Outpost doing set up and tear down, where he felt he finally found a service area that fit.
S: I’m socially awkward so I had a hard time trying to speak out and do stuff with people. Then I got into the Young Men’s Community Group. You go from being “Yeah I’m fine,” to all of a sudden everyone’s letting out their darkest secrets. I thank God for this because now I can have conversations that I never could have before. Without God there is nothing about me speaking that makes any sense. I can see where God is taking me from not confessing my sin to other people and finding true accountability with a trustworthy group of guys. It hurt and I hated it to begin with but now I can’t live without it.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10
"Right then the Spirit opened my eyes and it clicked what was true faith in Jesus. It was saying, 'Yes Lord I am yours, my life is no longer my own. I repent for what I have done. Use me as You will.'"
"Right then the Spirit opened my eyes and it clicked what was true faith in Jesus. It was saying, 'Yes Lord I am yours, my life is no longer my own. I repent for what I have done. Use me as You will.'"
Outpost Stories
Samuel Gorham: Growing Fully Rooted in Christ
Samuel Gorham grew up searching for approval from the people around him instead of from God. This led to a seed of misery growing in his heart. He grew confused about what it meant to be Christian, searching for the right words and deeds instead of surrendering to God. This led to broken relationships and sinful desires taking over his life. Read on to see how God transformed Samuel from someone who sowed misery in himself and others into someone who nurtured seeds from the Holy Spirit and shared the Gospel.
Read the full story
Samuel: I was raised in a very strict but loving Christian home. I was one of six and my parents wanted to train their children in the way they should go. So every time the doors of the church were open, we, as a family, would be there. I went because I had some friends there and even then I felt a bit like an outsider. I also went because that’s what you were supposed to do. I wanted the older generation at church to look at me and go, “he’s a good kid.”
Samuel began pushing against the routine of church which led to him separating himself from other people.
S: I felt really alone and miserable. I wasn’t rooted in Jesus at all and when my sin would come through my friends ran away and I grew angry. After so many times hearing the Gospel I skipped past it. The only thing I could think to do was to make everyone else as miserable as I was especially the people closest to me. So I began to bully my family. I would deliberately go and do things where my siblings would pay the price and they knew it was me.
Samuel began stealing from his parents and getting involved in sinful activities.
S: One day I was caught stealing candy. I hid it underneath my bed and my parents found it. I looked at the situation and decided I would tell my parents I needed to get saved before they could punish me. They stopped what they were doing and led me through the Roman’s Road and the Sinner’s prayer. For a while I thought I got away with it but there was this little voice in my mind telling me I wasn’t really saved.
For the next five years Samuel kept going through the cycle of anger and loneliness.
S: When I was about twelve I really wanted my dad to be proud of me because I hadn’t been able to make him proud yet. I started pushing really hard to get my parents to say I’m proud of you, but I couldn’t so I fell even deeper into my misery and dragged my family down with it.
When he turned sixteen Samuel began working with his dad.
S: That’s when the Lord started to get just a little bit a hold of me. I got to see my dad from a different view as far as what he dealt with all day at work and then afterwards had to come home and discipline children. I saw him in a way better light and began to see some hope.
One day things blew up. We both said some things that weren’t good. My dad said something that cut me to the point of breaking: “I don’t have to respect you. I love you, but nowhere in the Bible does it say I have to respect you. That is earned and right now you haven’t earned it.” After that I stopped trying even though he was right.
I began working at the hockey rink and got involved with the wrong crowd. Some of the guys there led me into drugs and drinking. I was able to hide it from my parents. I don’t know how.
In an attempt to please his parents Samuel attended Bible College at Maranatha Baptist University for two years.
S: While I was there I heard preaching every single day. I was in seminary classes every single day and it all went in one ear and out the other not making any sense. All the while every time I screwed up I would pray the Roman’s Road. That became a ritual for me over the years; hoping I said the right words, hoping I did the right things.
Back in Wyoming Samuel went to a young adult’s event at Camp Bethel. On the last day of the talks he felt the Spirit move in him.
S: All of a sudden the Spirit hits me and says “You’re not saved.” After all of the teaching about the rapture and being gone in a second I was terrified that the rapture was going to happen before the end of the service. So I grabbed the young adult pastor. We went into the other room and I told him I need to get saved and I need to get saved now. I opened up to him and said I keep doing these things and I keep praying this prayer. It just doesn’t feel like it’s working. I don’t know if I’m saying the right thing or doing the right thing or feeling the right way.
He said to me, “It’s not about what you say, it’s about what’s in your heart.” Right then the Spirit opened my eyes and it clicked what was true faith in Jesus. It was saying, “Yes Lord I am yours, my life is no longer my own. I repent for what I have done. Use me as You will.”
That night Samuel accepted the Lord fully in his heart. He was so excited and happy, telling everyone. As soon as he returned home he told his parents.
S: The first thing they said was, “You told us you accepted the Lord a long time ago. What’s different now?” That was the first challenge in my faith and I failed it because I started questioning again. My dad said, “It’s not about a feeling,” and I said, “I know but I felt a peace.” Only looking back now do I realize my dad was right; it’s not about that peace; it’s about actually seeing God work in your life.
I still continued to struggle with sin. I fell into pornography and drug and alcohol abuse. It dug me into a hole deeper and deeper. Even after giving my life to the Lord I was still going to my sin and it wasn’t fulfilling.
Samuel grew desperate to feel something after becoming numb trying to fill himself. He decided to end his life one night at the top of Carter Mountain.
S: As I was sitting there, I felt the Lord’s presence come right to me and say, “Son, what are you doing?” And I unloaded on Him. I told Him everything that was going wrong, everything that I hated about it. How I was miserable and couldn’t make any friends. I didn’t fit anywhere and I was alone. I was tired of feeling alone, tired of trying. He said four words, “I love you son.” He said that; my gun dropped. I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit come into my heart and I went straight down on my knees on that cliff side asking the Lord for forgiveness for what I had done. Feeling the Spirit grab hold of me, just a touch, was enough.
From that point Samuel dedicated his life to the Lord.
S: I watched Him change my life in so many ways. The hardest parts were the conversations with my family who I had been awful to. But God helped me to find reconciliation and rebuild trust. It was tough to do. The results now where my parents and I no longer argue and my siblings come to me with questions about the Bible and their spiritual walks and I start spouting off words the Spirit gives me; that’s God. I’m just saying what God said. I’m watching them change.
While working through relationship struggles with his parents and growing in his faith Samuel found that he could no longer attend the church where he grew up. He began searching for another church where he could find guys he could run through life with. He met JD Downer and was introduced to Outpost.
S: Thank God I knew JD Downer. He actually directed me to Outpost while we were at the gym which I thought was weird at first. But I wanted to be part of it and asked to be thrown into a Community Group.
Samuel began serving at Outpost doing set up and tear down, where he felt he finally found a service area that fit.
S: I’m socially awkward so I had a hard time trying to speak out and do stuff with people. Then I got into the Young Men’s Community Group. You go from being “Yeah I’m fine,” to all of a sudden everyone’s letting out their darkest secrets. I thank God for this because now I can have conversations that I never could have before. Without God there is nothing about me speaking that makes any sense. I can see where God is taking me from not confessing my sin to other people and finding true accountability with a trustworthy group of guys. It hurt and I hated it to begin with but now I can’t live without it.
"Right then the Spirit opened my eyes and it clicked what was true faith in Jesus. It was saying, 'Yes Lord I am yours, my life is no longer my own. I repent for what I have done. Use me as You will.'"
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10